Samstag, 12. Juli 2008

bros

Above the door to my toilet hangs a sign:
"Ivo Gets More Ass Than Toilet Paper"
A testament to bros.
The other sign that was traded for this one on the evening of Ivo's bachelor party is less useful in the home. "Pleitch mich. Ich brüch's hart"

At Upenn, I gave an assignment to help warn students of the siren song of projected statistics. Anthropologist must not make the mistakes of sociologists. We know that one needs time and patience to truly understand human behavior and that a certain behavior can not be called "norm" without both time and patience. The students understood my point quite quickly. I asked them to write their findings for a normal year in a place that they had only visited once, for a short time. A student who had recently and unexpectedly transferred from Toulane University, wrote about his findings in Philadelphia. "Typical Philadelphians spend evenings sleeping in doorways". His classmate, who'd only been at Toulane two days before being transferred due to Katrina used a typical Statistical formula to declare that Louisianna's Gulf Coast region received an average annual rainfall of 37 feet.


If I were to use projecting statistics after tonight, I would question the theory that "bros come before hos". I would note bros hanging one another from trees in superman costumes, bros dressing up another of their bros in pink tu-tus and blond wigs, while wearing t-shirts saying "RIP Lukas".
While siting for a long while at a tram connection, one bro was holding his bro's hood as the latter vomited. I can only assume the former bro was going the extra measure, eating a bratwurst. This seemed, to me, to say "Don't worry bro, I don't mind. In fact, I mind so little I still have an appetite. I have so much appetite in fact, that I can eat while you yak."
So, which is the control group? Which is the exception? Are bros uncommonly cruel or super there for each other?
The two solid conclusions I can find at least, are that a lot of weddings are happening this month in Zürich and this leads to conclusion 2 being that this results in insanely heavy drinking.

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