Recently, Ivo had a big career decision to make. He'd been offered a gig closer to home, for more cash and a year longer contract and had to choose whether or not to leave the position he's in now; where he's working on a project that he's passionate about and has been shaping for 2 years.
There were pros and cons for both options. I listened to them all. The only 2 cents I gave was to speak to this career counselor, whom he'd enjoyed speaking to in the past.
A few times, Ivo tried to trick me into choosing for him. But I bested him and held my cards so close to my chest, that he didn't even know which choice I'd been hoping for. He thought that I'd wanted the closer job but the secret is, I wanted him to make a choice that would make him happiest in future. I think that he chose that.
In future, when it comes to moving house or applying at far away universities, I will make my voice heard in addition to listening to Ivo's ideas (I hope), but so far as career-shaping decisions that don't involve me moving, I'm fairly neutral. I do know that I do not ever want to be responsible for a decision that Ivo might regret.
When I was getting ready to move to Switzerland, Ivo asked me, in every way that he could think of, if I felt sure that this was a decision I was making for me. It was. I'd read Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris and remembered his way of comforting himself in anticipation of being an "ex-pat."
I promised Ivo that I would never say "I didn't even want to come here."
In the meantime, I think that Ivo reaffirming his comittment to his current job(s) will have a wonderful outcome.