Samstag, 20. September 2008

guilt and sloth and all that my catholic upbringing expects of me

I'm a bit miffed. I am going to have to wait to start French. My course was meant to begin on Monday but was canceled due to lack of interest. I'll have to wait about two weeks now.
My big fear: Sloth. I'm afraid that not working a bajillion hours a week is going to make me soft and lazy. My plan: I'm a-gonna go to the library and bone-up on human rights whatnots and be extra prepared for my next adventure beginning this summer.
Meanwhile, I have to find something piddly to do after the holidays, before the next job and while learning french to make money. Damn these hard economic times. Guess I'll fluff up my resume, put on my smiley face and be sell able with my English skills (which fail a little more each day) and get some meaningless job that will develop the thirst in me that will egg me on to drink big from the cup of slightly-less-meaningless work.

Meanwhile I feel guilty starting part-time at the school. I suppose it's less inconvenient than if I'd stopped working at the end of my contract last week. I figure that working at the school part-time will be a good way to ween me off the myself off the little ones before I am done there. It's gonna be hard. During summer vacation I realized that it had been too long since someone played with my dangling necklace as I bent to help with a shoe or nap mat. This past week I got a big twinge, too. One of the kids (who has recently begun speaking to me exclusively in English - and HOW?!) said "Jessy mine hands are cold" stretching them out. I went to take them in my hands to feel and she said "No! Come here" and placed them on my cheeks to feel. The girl next to her quickly put her hands on my face and asked if hers were colder. Then, each of the girls who had been playing together put their hands on my face to ask who's were colder.
Then on Friday, it was one of our more rambunctious kids had his first visit to my sports class. Not only was he able to follow the rules, play with others and come up with his own games he fell on on me with a big ol' hug and said that sports are "the most fun ever!"

So, I won't be missing working in a germ-factory while taking an immunosuppresant. I won't miss being paid for 40 hours of work when, in fact, I'm putting more time and effort. I won't be missing being too tired for a social life. I will miss the kids and my colleagues, though.

Keine Kommentare:

Kommentar veröffentlichen