Mittwoch, 26. März 2008

The EU is killing my husband

In this globalized world, where the world has not yet caught cold, but is asking for an extra blanket and I am avoiding friends who work in money house's evil eye, the EU will be the death of my husband.

Here in Switzerland, we are not, of course, members of the EU. We love our Swiss Frank and our "safely gaurded borders". (Yes, those cows by the border in Önningen count.) We do have a friendly relationship with the EU, however. Not so much because we are a friendly country all-around. More for the same reasons that Hitler reffered to us as "a hedgehog". We are stuck smack dab in the middle of western europe with are pointy bits sticking into many an EU member nation. Thus, we're "friendly" and have fun immigration laws for people with the blue flag with the yellow stars.

The problem with being friendly and, tightly packed among the Empi- I mean Union, has been discussed in Switzerland for a year now. They don't exactly sit around saying "What's to be done about that Union?". They more, have an article at least once a week, begging the question "HOW CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT OUR CERVELA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"The panic is what just might kill my husband.

A cervela is a small red sausage that Swiss people love and, apparently, live for. The Swiss, being sticklers for tradition have only one way in which they believe that this sausage can be made. That would be a casing made from Brazilian cow intestines. Here's the pickle. Brazilian cow intestines are not friendly to the European Union and thus can no longer be imported to our landlocked Union-friendly nation.

My husband's plan: Eat at least one cervela per week because "you never know how long they'll be around". I understand this. Like, 10 years ago I was so flippin' thrilled to see Bob Dylan in concert because I didn't know how long he's be around. Answer: A long freakin' time. Seeing that concert, unlike eating a cervely a week, did nothing to my arteries.

Is the second wedding anniversary the angioplasty anniversary?

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